I honestly don't know what else to call my posts... I am running out of options! I think my blog is pretty boring anyway, I don't know that anyone reads it. It doesn't really matter. Mostly I am blogging again to get my feelings out, and to make sense of the jumbled mess that always seems to be my brain. It seems that when I can't make sense of everything, I get more stressed, so I write. I have for a while now, it just hasn't always been public. I get overwhelmed or anxious a lot right now. I guess I just have to focus on the next step, rather than the next ten steps. That doesn't always work though. Because either something will come up, and it will blindside me, or somebody will ask me to think ahead to something with my best intentions in mind. Something that I have been trying not to think about, but if I don't think about it now I will be blindsided later. So, then I have to decide if it would be better to be blindsided, or to face the anxiety that thinking about it causes.
I honestly don't know. Which means I will probably stick my original plan of avoiding it until I know it's going to happen. It works. Because then if it isn't a problem, I didn't need to think about it before hand. I guess that's what I will do. I know.... I am being very vague and general. I think that's okay sometimes. I am realizing that everybody doesn't have to know everything. Just know that I am alive, and I am okay. At he very least I have written about it, and sorted through my problems a little.
Today I participated in a spelling bee. MOST embarrassing moment of my life. I didn't know what half of the words meant, and I didn't know how to spell any of them! Well, except the one that I buzzed in too late. I have a paper due tomorrow. Honestly, it's depressing. I am writing on sex trafficking in the United States. The statistics are overwhelming, and really saddening. I think it is destroying my faith in humanity. I have all the research done, I just have to put it into a cohesive form. The only other thing I have due that is semi big is the memorization for Tuesday. Then I go home Wednesday evening! I am so excited to see my family! I miss them so much. I think it will be hard coming back though. I guess that's about it.