Focus

I can't focus for the life of me. I know I should be doing things, getting things accomplished, being productive. I know that if I were to make a list, I would be able to recognize that I worked today. I got up, I did my job that I was hired to do. I had an interview for another job babysitting, and I did some homework. Why then, do I feel completely unproductive? Why do I feel as though I have wasted an entire day? I guess because in life, there is always something that needs doing. I have learned that much. In college, they give you a list of expectations. Only, this list covers the next 15 weeks. I have my list of expectations, but I have yet to find the balance between letting some things wait and then doing it all the night before because I let it wait too long. Then when I come to moments like this, I am so tired. I could probably go to sleep right now. I would probably sleep the night away. Then I realize that I at least have to get tomorrows expectations taken care of. I have 3 more days until I go home. The days are crawling by. Why do they always do that? Lately it has seemed as though I can't keep up. Now when I am ready for them to pass quickly, they are going at a snails pace instead. I can't sort through everything in my brain. I can't even figure out what I should be doing. I am not processing anything as it happens, I just tend to try to keep up, and later I will figure everything out. Kind of a "nod, smile, and pretend like you have a clue." Which, to be honest is really hard. I am definitely learning the value of lists. And schedules. I make one at the beginning of every week. It really helps to know what I am supposed to be doing at what time. We only have 3 more weeks in a few of my classes. I will be glad when they are finished. These are my 1 and 2 credit courses. But, not all of them. I have another 2 credit course that will go the entire semester, but it only meets twice a week. Make sense, right? I think it is about as clear a mud on my end. I think I am going to go make a plan for the week, and then go to bed.

Toodles!