Empty- I have felt sadness for so long that it is my norm right now. When I don't know what to feel, I am usually sad, or numb. Numb is the worst. Those days that I know I should be feeling something, but I can't feel anything. I am not happy or sad, angry or scared. I simply exist. I am present, and most people don't even know that there is anything wrong, because I have learned to act. I know what to say when, and I know how to fake my emotions. I've actually gotten pretty good at it.
Fear- There is a lot going on in our world, and I can only mention part of it. My sister is sick, and this is scary. I cannot fix this one, and I don't know how to respond. Sometimes I am angry, but I know that it all stems from my fear. Fear that she will suffer. Fear of being without her, my rock, my best friend. Fear that comes of knowing that I have no control over what happens to her. Fear that comes of not knowing.
Peace- I know that God is my fortress through all of this. Even when I don't feel like I can handle it. He wraps me in his arms and envelops me with his unending love. I know that he is there, and i know that I can turn to him. He will do what is best, even if it doesn't seem best to me. He knows what I can handle.
Resolve- I will use whatever time we have. I will enjoy her presence, no matter what happens. I will spend time with her, and tell her that I love her. I will have no regrets.
About Me
- Miracle
- I am 19 years old now. It seems like time is going fast, and I am not always sure how to handle it! I started college August 2014. I am studying psychology at North Central University, meeting new people, and drawing closer to God with each step I take. Life is not a destination, it is a long journey. I am excited to see what God has in store for my life, and I hope you will join me as I find out!
1 comment:
This is a really beautiful post. I know it's very hard to be strong. But you are doing the best thing you can, you are trusting God and you know that He loves you. Praying for you!
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